Gascoine i reoli Newcastle?
31.12.04Football Guardian
5. When will the media calm down and realise that, while Steven "I'm the man" Gerrard is clearly a footballer of considerable talent, he's not even the best midfielder at his club, let alone in the Premiership/world/universe (as current press-box conformity dictates)?
(a) When hell freezes over.
(b) When those driving man-of-the-match performances, which don't come round quite as often as you'd think, finally veer wildly into the ego-driven, tactic-shredding arena that is David Beckham v Greece.
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SCOTLAND AND BURKINA FASO?
One's a footballing backwater the other's a country in Africa

Police in Sao Paulo said they had apprehended around 200 flip-flops which Palmeiras fans had intended to throw at their own team
"I was about to go to the police about the rumours, so they could investigate them, and put a stop to what is being said."
"Suddenly it is there in black and white - Cardiff, Swansea and Wrexham have no European avenue open to them, either in Wales or England.
That could ultimately lead to a potential restraint of trade court action (against UEFA)."
"I never liked flying when I was a player, but somehow just about put up with it because it was my job.
"I decided, the moment I finished playing, that I wouldn't fly any more.
A spokesman for Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams, spiritual leader of 70 million Anglicans worldwide, reacted with weary resignation to the "Posh and Becks" tableau.
"There is a tradition of each generation trying to re-interpret the nativity but, Oh Dear..," he said.
Who was the last English-born manager to win the FA Cup?
Which Brighton fanzine's title reflects a miss near the end of the 1983 final when Brighton were drawing 2-2 with Manchester United?
Who finished on the losing side in four FA Cup finals between 1985 and 1992?
Whose pass did Ricky Villa pick up at the edge of the penalty area before weaving his way through the Manchester City defence to score Spurs' winner in the 1981 replay?
"Just a fortnight ago, Newcastle's annual report revealed that Shepherd and Hall, the club's main directors, were being paid massively by Newcastle. Shepherd's salary package last year was over £717,000, while Hall's was more than £635,000."
"At the behest of the organisation Athletes For Christ devout Brazilian goalscorers began broadcasting the good news by pulling off their shirts to reveal snippets of useful advice from the Bible (Love thy neighbour, don't eat cormorants, that kind of thing)."
"We reject racism and xenophobia and we will show it. I will propose that my players paint their faces black for our next home match"